Better Off Wed? Fling.. . .or Ring:
by Allison James
Published by Polka Dot Press
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Reviewed by Connie Anderson
Author Allison James subtitled this book: How to know which finger to give him. This kind of sets the tone, don't you think? Her previous book, I Used to Miss Him, But My Aim Is Improving and the Ten Women You'll Be Before You're 35 set her up as a relationship expert.
Now here's my story. Many years ago I met "the one," and we’re still married--and to each other. I enjoyed this book completely because now I can pass it onto a young woman (okay, my daughter) who is dating and second guesses herself and the guys all the time. After reading this, she WILL understand why.
Of all the great quotes included, I think this says it best about relationships:
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowance for human weaknesses. -- Ann Landers
The author does a yo-woman job of explaining to the dating woman about "the one," what does it all mean? By the book's end, you will understand the how and why we pick a certain person, accept them 100 percent OR start questioning them (and ourselves) too soon.
James doesn't miss a single aspect of the dating process. The "dare to compare" chapter, subtitled: Is there someone better out there? is self-explanatory. Who has not done that--but for how long, that's the question.
The chapters break down women and men into different types:
Women: rational thinkers/analyzers; the romantic; the beautician (fixer,),pessimist, etc.
Men: Wheeler/dealer; charmer, intellect; comedian, Mr. Social, celebrity and listener.
Ladies, if you are "out there dating," you have met them all and you will clearly see your own type as well.
The author suggests giving not-great first dates a second chance. Who hasn't done something stupid on a first date--and who knows, the second might be better.
Another favorite area was the "Who is this guy?" with these questions: Do I respect this guy? Does he like me as a person? Would he be someone I would want in my life as a friend even if there were no romance between us?
Armchair Interview says: Excellent information for women in the dating scene--and men could learn a few things from it as well. Why ARE more dating advice books written for women--when it takes two?