Adoption Reunion Stories: True Heart-warming Accounts
by Shirley Budd Pusey
Published by Acacia Publishing
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Reviewed by Connie Anderson
Arizona social worker Shirley Budd Pusey was an adoption counselor for 32 years--placing over 700 babies.
Many of the reunion stories she relates come from cases she worked, where the families knew her.
The author did a good job of showing all the viewpoints: adopted adult, adoptive parent(s), birth mother, and if available, even the birth father.
They are all reunion stories--but each has a different feeling. For example, in Michelle's story, she met her birth mother, but then backed off saying, "She is not the person I fantasized about."
The adoptive parents had different reactions as well. Some of these parents felt they lost a little of their child after she/he met their birth parent. Others thought their child felt closer than ever to them after the reunion and expressed happiness at being their child, at how they were treated and loved, etc. etc. etc.
In most stories, both the birth mother and the adoptee felt a hole in their being was filled. Some adoptees only wanted medical and family history, not a new relationship. The birth parents now knew their decision had been right for that child, that the child is doing fine.
The birth mothers had mixed reactions from being thrilled to see that the child they placed more than 18 years ago was well, happy and loved. However, some were angry that they had missed all those years, forced by their family to make the adoption plan against her will. She felt cheated.
Many of the adoptees carried feelings about wanting to search for their birth mother, but were concerned this search would upset their adoptive parents. This search cannot be made until age 18.
Birth siblings sometimes were thrilled initially but then disappointed because the "new sibling" backed away--and they wondered if it was the right thing to get to know that person. Other stories tell of welcoming and joyous extended families that brought the adoptee into it, and others where the birth parent became part of the adoptive family's life.
Armchair Interviews says: If you are any part of the adoption triad for U.S. adoptions, this book would give you some insight into how each party might feel. But as this book shows, there is no "one way" the people involved felt after the reunion.